“Hey Sangeeta, I visited your blog and the stuff you have there is really cool and hot. I love your articles, especially those on relationships and parenting. I subscribed to your feeds and commented on your recent post. I have joined your communities at MyBlogLog, BlogCatalog and Bumpzee. I even added you on my blogroll. I also have a blog on blogging, where I give out some lessons, tips and tricks for bloggers of all skill levels. I will be very much pleased if you could visit my blog (azblogging.com) too, comment and also subscribe to my feeds. Uncle Che”.
To Sangeeta and Uncle Che, the above doesn’t sound like a necessity. They are very good friends and will always visit each other’s blog. Uncle Che will continue visiting Sangeeta’s blog even if Sangeeta is not paying back the visits. Likewise, Sangeeta will always visit Uncle Che’s blog even if Uncle Che doesn’t pay back the visits.
Not everyone in the blogosphere will do it the way Sangeeta and Uncle Che do. What most bloggers will think is that Sangeeta should stop visiting Uncle’s blog once Uncle Che is not paying back her efforts. The blogosphere has developed into a space where it’s fate and that of its members is gradually being controlled by reciprocity. Most bloggers only want to interact with bloggers who must pay back their efforts. In the blogosphere, it is easy to hear such phrases like;
Visit my blog and I will visit yours
Comment on my blog and I will comment on yours
Add me to your blogroll and I will add you to mine
Dofollow link to my blog and I will dofollow link on yours
Join my community and I will join yours
Subscribe to my feeds and I will subscribe to yours
You comment, I follow
You drop, I follow…
Why am I complaining about this? Is there anything wrong about asking someone to return a visit? Not at all!
The quest for reciprocity can be a very good strategy for some traffic and maybe dedicated readers. Asking someone to pay back a favor doesn’t mean you are implying that every effort must be paid back. One good turn deserves another, yes, but not that one good turn MUST be given another. Most bloggers demand reciprocity in the blogosphere for the same reason they do in any normal life situation. It is easier demanding a favor from someone you have offered a hand to.
To be at peace with yourself and other bloggers in the blogosphere, it will be safe to consider any favor you do to a fellow blogger as a gift, rather than a loan. If you consider it a debt, you may feel down and neglected when the “loan” is not repaid.
When a fellow blogger doesn’t reciprocate your efforts, it is good to stay positive about it. It may be possible that your content is not god enough for him/her, but why look at the negative side? A fellow might not be interested in the topic you are writing on. That’s normal, although it is a problem anyone can turn around. You might also meet a fellow blogger at a time he/she is very busy. Yes of course, we are all busy but consider this. If you have even as few as 100 bloggers to your blog a day, will it be possible to reciprocate all of them and comment on their blog’s too? I really don’t think so.
If you find a blog of interest to you and visit it constantly but the blog owner doesn’t pay back your visit, does that mean you should stop visiting? I really don’t think so. Visiting a blog and commenting is one good way of gaining exposure for yourself and your blog. Some bloggers even reciprocate your efforts without you knowing. Some blogs are dofollow (nofollow free), which means they give you a link back to your blog. Some bloggers recommend your blog to their friends using several methods order than written reviews, and so on.
There are many ways of asking for your efforts to be reciprocated without actually saying it directly. Everyone needs visitors to their blog. There is no serious admin who will not pay attention to serious visitors. Try visiting a blog and commenting on it once per day for three days, and tell me the results.
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good post! you have hit exactly how i feel. most bloggers have forgotten the true spirit of blogging…. gaining friends.
to add to your list, this is what i really don’t like
“hi, can we exlinks? add me first then buzz me so i can add you too”
although i really didn’t hear the tone of the voice, it sounds rude to me. if you are to ask for a link, you should be the one linking first. that’s the proper way, right?